Find Love One Love

One of the easiest method in doing a persons research is thru the internet, you can find lots of service providers provided in which you are able to perform communal records search. You can easily simply fill the knowledge had to have and the gateway will redirect you to the online database so that you can entry the public files needed.

Many individuals use online dating to type casual relationships, or to find along the lines of minded men and women for interaction. If you are one of those that are classified as using it to find love, in which case you has to be careful, as you will find loads of pitfalls that you could fall in. For starters, you are not really meeting anybody head to head and there is usually a chance that individuals are not genuinely which sort they appear to be. Some other factor is that which sort you see isn’t what it’s possible you’ll get. A wonderful profile and a handsome or beckoning photo may simply turn out to be the items of somebody’s vivid imagination. It could turn into a sham.

So, why can we actually lie? Plain and straightforward We’re afraid. Period. Exactly why are we afraid? We don’t true love ourselves or the persons around us a sufficient amount of to live in truth. And, genuine genuine love calls for the truth. Not certain blunt impolite make people sense silly and horrible edition of truth. But, fact nonetheless! And, if you would like proof of who has probably the most loving relationships going on between them? Well, it’s between people who may reside in truth completely. They love and admiration each other a lot they want to become honest with them. They care about not hurting them. They care about being adored and revered in return for who they are flaws and all. And, they need a partner who can hear the truth and aid bring it all into the realm of consciousness in a loving way and heal any worry within the realm of love. That means the much more a pAir lies to every other, the much more they actually are usually in fear of each other, which suggests intense love really isn’t very current at all.

? Have a shot not to beat around the bush. Be confident, become direct, and start courting without losing an excessive amount of time. Discovering the right partner on your affection will require a lot of time. So get moving as quickly as possible to locate intense love using over the internet dating.

How can certainly intense love reside with no candle light dinner:
I promise you that i’ll …………..
I would be joyful in the event you might ……….

The center of a relationship should be reliance.Faith and believe must at all times turn into present.
CREATE MOMENTS TOGETHER. Commonly males do this; out of the blue men would propped a date in some passionate place only for two; a candlelight dinner, using an audio in the background or could be a little bit of bit offhand as simply walking in Manila Bay at sunset, a picnic on the Park or within the Zoo, for any of smaller budget, but no matter it really is which sort is important is that you make a few moments together, by reason that is what life is all about.

Discover more about find love one here.

Tobias Quattrini is a commentator on Find Love One who also reveals techniques free online dating,dating advice forum,personal myspace layout at http://www.findlovelove.com

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Funeral Poems

Each time a loved 1 dies, it can be tough to state how you feel, particularly in public areas in the funeral or memorial service. Poems could possibly be a really successful strategy to communicate how you feel in regards to the death of the loved 1. Funeral and bereavement poems are a really crucial component of all funeral and memorial services. Poems aid to ease and comfort and temporarily ease grieving household and friends. They may be read at the funeral, the burial website or committal, at ashes spreading ceremonies and memorial services. Poems will also be incorporated into funeral printed materials, like funeral programs, prayer cards, acknowledgment cards and memorial bookmarks.

Whether or not you could be a loved ones member looking to the best poem, or possibly a buddy that’s been asked to be involved in a funeral or memorial service, picking the correct poem may be a daunting job. You’ll find various resources for discovering the proper funeral poem for your memorial or funeral program, or other printed supplies. The net can be an wonderful source for discovering the proper poem. You’ll find so many sites that record poems for no cost. These poems are typically categorized according to relationships, for example poems for mothers, fathers, kids, husbands, wives, grandmothers and grandfathers. They may perhaps be listed through the circumstance of death, like illness, accident, unexpected death or perhaps suicide. Most websites can place the authors with the poems, if recognized. If using poems in printed materials, you have to ensure that correct credit emerged on the author. There are also several websites that sell funeral poem e-books. These books could possibly enable you to save your time, by offering well-organized and well-categorized bereavement poems.

Furthermore to websites, you may also encounter funeral and bereavement poems in magazines with the library or bookstore. In addition, your funeral director or funeral planner might be capable of supply you with poems as well as other readings that may be suitable for your service. You’ll be able to likewise use poems that aren’t necessarily death related. Poems through the deceased’s favorite writer or poet could possibly be integrated into your service, also as song lyrics. Some people may perhaps even write their own poetry, or hire a poet to compose the perfect personalized poems for their loved one.

With a small investigation and time, you can actually discover the excellent funeral poems to make the funeral or memorial service splendid and special.

Christie is a team member with The Funeral Program Site and The Wedding Program Site, both trusted resources for quality programs. They have the greatest selection of funeral thank you cards, prayer cards, memorial bookmarks, funeral songs, and memorial booklets for any kind of memorial services.

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Cremation Pet Urns Honor a Beloved Pet

The loss of a beloved pet can be just as devastating to those who love them as losing any other member of the family. When death occurs many people choose to cremate rather than bury the pet, and this offers a number of benefits. The first thing that comes to mind when honoring the remains of a pet is that you will be able to forever remember the special times you had together by using cremation pet urns for this purpose.

Cremation pet urns provide a tasteful method of storing the remains of those beloved individuals who brought joy into your life. The question is where to find the right cremation urn to honor the life that is no longer? Many pet stores carry their own lines of cremation urns and will provide a good selection, but sometimes that is just not good enough. It is at these times that shopping online may provide the solution for this emotion related problem.

With the wide array of companies that do business online, it just goes without saying that you will be able to locate what you are after when doing your shopping there. By checking with online retailers, you are sure to find a selection that will provide you with something that reflects the good times you enjoyed with your precious pet while at the same time honoring their short-lived life.

Cremation pet urns come in many sizes and styles and that will allow you to choose something that is right for your needs. Determining the correct size will depend upon the size of your pet as well as the amount of ashes. However, since this will be something that you will always have in your home, size may not be the overriding factor when making that choice.

Style, on the other hand, may be more important than any other factor when making your decision. You will want to know that any cremation pet urns you select will add value to your home, and will fit into the décor you will be placing it in. Since you will be honoring the life that has been lost, the style chosen should reflect that special being. That can be done through the use of color as well as decorative elements on the urn.

One final thought when making your selection of cremation pet urns is the amount you wish to spend. Sure, you will want to purchase the best product you can find to hold the remains of your loved one, but you should set a budget and stick with it so there will be no regrets about this special piece that will be with you for years to come.

Honoring a beloved family member has more to do with encouraging memories than it does with the amount of money spent, and remembering those good times does not have to mean spending more than you can afford, but it should mean cremation pet urns that reflect those memories.

Welcome to Quality Leather Online, inside you will discover an amazing selection of low priced and excellent quality cremation pet urns.

“Love a la Carte” Movie Launches New Mobile App & Polyamory Dating Site

Free “Love a la Carte” Movie, Polyamory Dating Website & Mobile App

For the first time ever, “Love a la Carte,” a “do-it-yourself” (DIY) motion picture, extends the cinematic experience for its audience with the creation of a real world mobile application and online polyamory dating website. Leading the way for micro-budget indy filmmakers in breaking new ground to entertain audiences is Emmy award winning writer-producer-director and Love a la Carte, LLC CEO, Tim McSpadden. “The movie ‘Love a la Carte’ is an honest comedy about cheating monogamists keeping their marriage together, for better or worse, with an online polyamory dating website,” says McSpadden. “Conceiving a real-life website and mobile app of the same name that is mercilessly satirized in the movie was the next step for the ‘Love a la Carte’ brand.”

The cheating lifestyle continually spawns schadenfreude headlines and heated debates. Philandering politicians and celebrities propagate the mobile hook-up culture, heroic athletes allegedly deflate footballs to win games and salacious online dating websites generate millions of dollars promoting adultery. Exposing via cinema the nuanced justifications some monogamists make for sampling unauthorized polyamory is fertile ground for a comedy-fantasy. “There are 3 versions to every story you hear about why someone cheats: Their version, your version and the truth,” McSpadden says. “Our ‘Love a la Carte’ movie shows you how the internet has impacted having affairs and why this lifestyle might be affecting your own relationship right now. Our dating website is where you can experience firsthand what was lampooned in the movie. Our mobile app is how you can stay connected with this brand of entertainment – all for free.”

Audiences can watch the DIY movie “Love a la Carte” for free for 30-days on Amazon Prime Instant Video or with their subscription to the service. The movie is also available on iTunes/Apple TV and Google Play which is also where the “Love a la Carte” mobile applications can be found and freely downloaded. To find “love now” and contact other “Love a la Carte” lovers in their area, people can sign up for free on LovealaCarte.com. The website is also a landing point to find other links connected with the movie, such as watching the film along with the cast and for other news worthy articles connected to the “Love a la Carte” experience.

Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee called the movie “Entertaining & Refreshing.” Mandy Payne, a Top 10 ranked Amazon Hall-of-Fame reviewer (out of more than 26 million reviewers) gave “Love a la Carte” 5-stars on Amazon Prime Instant Video and said its “a gritty story about the realities of marriage and midlife, all the while never losing a steady undercurrent of dry humor.” Winner of the “Most Original Screenplay” award at the 2014 Universal Film Festival, “Love a la Carte” also played at the Cannes Film Festival market & American Film Market the same year. The soundtrack for “Love a la Carte” was engineered by 2014 Grammy nominee Russ Marsden of Big U Music in Phoenix, Arizona. It features 17 songs from recording artists across the globe such as VH-1’s jump start ASCAP songstress Janice Kirkwood and the Phoenix New Times weekly “Best Up & Comer of the Year,” Youceff Kabal. Also taking a turn as an actor in the movie is Raj Suri, who produced Doritos’ 2014 million dollar winning Super Bowl commercial.

“Now the ‘Love a la Carte’ trifecta is complete. The movie, the dating site, the mobile app; it’s the culmination of a lot of faithful work from a lot of talented people confronting head-on the unfaithful subject of cheating,” says McSpadden. “In the context of people struggling with their monogamy, or suffering within sexless marriages or combating Betty Friedan’s ‘problem with no name,’ my hope is that the ‘Love a la Carte’ experience will be an enlightening one from which audiences can laugh, learn and love.”

Funeral Poems

Each time a loved 1 dies, it might be challenging to state your emotions, particularly in public places at the funeral or memorial service. Poems could possibly be an extremely successful procedure for communicate your emotions about the death from the loved one. Funeral and bereavement poems are a really important portion of most funeral and memorial services. Poems assist to comfort and ease and calm mourning loved ones and friends. They might be read on the funeral, the burial web site or committal, at ashes scattering ceremonies and memorial services. Poems are contained in funeral printed supplies, for instance funeral programs, prayer cards, acknowledgment cards and memorial bookmarks.

Regardless of whether you’re a family member searching for that excellent poem, or perhaps a buddy that’s been asked to take part in a funeral or memorial service, choosing the correct poem could be a daunting task. You will discover numerous sources for finding the proper funeral poem for your memorial service or funeral plan, or other printed materials. The web is an exceptional source for locating the best poem. There are numerous sites that list poems for totally free. These poems are frequently categorized in accordance with relationships, which include poems for mothers, fathers, youngsters, husbands, wives, grandmothers and grandfathers. They may also be listed with the circumstance of death, for instance illness, accident, unexpected death as well as suicide. Most web sites are listed the authors of the poems, if known. If utilizing poems in printed supplies, you’ll want to ensure that appropriate credit is offered towards the author. You can find also numerous internet sites that sell funeral poem e-books. These books might allow you to saving time, by providing well-organized and well-categorized bereavement poems.

Additionally to the internet, you can also discover funeral and bereavement poems in books in the library or bookstore. Also, your funeral director or funeral planner might are able to present you with poems and various readings that might be proper on your service. You’ll be able to also employ poems that are not necessarily death related. Poems from the deceased’s preferred source or poet may be incorporated into your service, too as song lyrics. Some folks might even write their personal poetry, or hire a poet to compose the best personalized poems for loved 1.

Creating a little study and time, it is possible to locate the ideal funeral poems to produce the funeral or memorial service thoughtful and unique.

Christie is a team member with The Funeral Program Site and The Wedding Program Site, both trusted resources for quality programs. They have the greatest selection of funeral thank you cards, prayer cards, memorial bookmarks, funeral songs, and memorial booklets for any kind of memorial services.

John Huston Retires as Chairman of Wood & Huston Bank

John Huston Retires as Wood & Huston Bank’s Chairman of the Board

After 66 years of service to Wood & Huston Bank, John Huston has announced his retirement as Chairman of the Board of Wood & Huston Bank effective June 21, 2015.

Mr. Huston began working full time for Wood & Huston Bank after he graduated from the University of Missouri-Columbia in 1949. Huston is also an Army Veteran, having served our country in the Korean War.

During his time at Wood & Huston Bank, the bank grew its deposits from $ 6.8 million to $ 510 million, an increase of 7,400%. Loans grew from $ 1.6 million to $ 486 million, an increase of 30,275%… a remarkable run for a remarkable man.

Commenting on Mr. Huston’s retirement was president of the bank, Barry Randolph, “All of us at the Bank want to thank you, John, from the bottom of our hearts for everything that you have done for this bank, this community, and each of us personally. You are the most respected man I have ever known and that respect is well deserved. You have been the cornerstone of the Wood & Huston Bank for over 66 years and I am honored to have worked with you.”

On the announcement of his retirement, the Board of Directors unanimously voted on a resolution to elect John Huston Chairman Emeritus of Wood & Huston Bank, effective, June 21, 2015. In separate resolution, Mark Thompson, executive vice president and CFO of the bank was unanimously elected to serve as a member of the Board of Directors.

John Huston is married to his wife Donna with whom they have four sons along with their wives and 9 grandchildren. John is an avid outdoorsman. A lifelong resident of Saline County, John has been past president, director and member of numerous civic organizations. He was active in the Chamber of Commerce, Marshall-Saline Development Corporation, the Sappington School Fund and the Ridge Park Cemetery to note a few. He was also a director of Missouri Valley College for over 50 years. He remains actively involved in the life of the local community.

Accepting the position of Chairman of the Board for Wood & Huston Bank is Nick Huston. Mr. Huston has been employed by Wood & Huston Bank for 33 years beginning his career at the bank in 1982. Like his father, Mr. Huston is also an alumnus of the University of Missouri and lifelong resident of Saline County. He is married to his wife, Leslie, has two children and too is an avid outdoorsman.

About Wood & Huston Bank

Established in 1874, Wood & Huston is an independent, full-service community bank that in 2014 celebrated 140 years of providing a wide range of quality financial products and solutions to the communities that they serve in Missouri—with branches and/or service locations in Cape Girardeau, Jackson, Marshall, Slater, Springfield, West Plains, and Higginsville, MO. Wood & Huston Bank delivers the convenience of online banking, mobile banking, mobile deposit and high-interest checking, along with competitive-rate loans for its customers. It’s Wood & Huston’s history and mission that distinguishes it from so many banking institutions. Personal service has been a legacy passed on from generation to generation for Wood & Huston Bank. The Bank operates with a philosophy that its reputation must be recreated every single day to meet each new challenge. To learn more about Wood & Huston, explore its website at http://www.woodhuston.com, drop by one of the convenient locations, or call (660) 886-6825. Wood & Huston Bank is a member of the FDIC and an Equal Housing Lender.

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40 Years After the Fall of Saigon a New Book Unearths Nuggets of Humor Glittering in the Shadows of an Unpopular War

Tampa, FL (PRWEB) April 22, 2015

Forty years ago Saigon fell to the Viet Cong, and the final chapter of an unpopular war closed. For those who served, the memory conjures up a variety of ghostly images; Jim Lamb captured some of his and coaxed them into a new book titled, “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales” (http://www.jslstories.com).

MCA (http://myclassifiedads.net) is helping get the word out about Lamb’s sometimes funny, often poignant, Vietnam memoir.

Lamb notes that many in the media have made attempts to put the Fall of Saigon into its proper historical context. Among the best, he said, is an award-winning documentary called “Last Days in Vietnam,” directed by Rory Kennedy, daughter of Robert Kennedy. More about that film, including a video clip, can be seen at http://lastdaysinvietnam.com.

Over the years most vets made their peace with the Vietnam saga, including Lamb—though occasionally he’d share an anecdote or two with those close to him.

“The book is a compilation of stories I’ve told family and friends,” Lamb said. “Sam Harris, one of those friends, said I should write down these tiny tales, so I did.”

It took nearly 20 years for Lamb to finish “Oranges Socks”—a long incubation period for a relatively short book. Chapters include “Welcome to the War,” “The M16 Is Your Friend,” “Rocket Attack,” and “Stealing Psalm 40,” the testimony of how Lamb accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior in a Sunday evening chapel service in Da Nang.

Lamb is a Pennsylvania native: Born in Johnstown, graduated high school in Windber, thrown out of college in Shippensburg, drafted in Kennett Square. He joined the Navy in the fall of 1967: Boot-camped in Great Lakes, trained at Naval Air Station Memphis, processed for an undesirable discharge on drug charges in Corpus Christi. After charges against him were dropped, he was sent to San Francisco for advanced training and then to Atsugi, Japan, his squadron’s stepping-stone to Da Nang.

A self-described bookworm—he wrote poems, played guitar and acted in theatric productions in high school and college—Lamb had difficulty adjusting to the rigors of military life, particularly inspections. Then, after three and a half years of trying, Lamb finally learned how to conform to Navy life by amassing a collection of proven techniques. The result: stunningly shined shoes, a brilliantly bright brass belt buckle, starched white hat, perfectly trimmed hair. He became virtually indistinguishable from every other sailor.

“That gave me an idea,” Lamb said. “I decided to go into one of the biggest and most important inspections of the year in perfect naval attire except for one thing: I wore orange socks.”

And he got away with it.

The impish act gave birth to one of the most comical chapters in the book as well as providing an inspiration for its title. Non-vets may wonder how someone could find anything funny during such an unpopular war. Lamb explains it this way: “My friend Juli used to say, ‘You can laugh—or you can cry.’ In Vietnam, I did both.”

“Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales” is available in a variety of convenient formats: Kindle ($ 4.99), iBooks ($ 4.99) and “Independent and DRM-free via Gumroad” ($ 10) at http://www.jslstories.com/orange-socks.

For more information, visit http://www.jslstories.com or call (813) 920-0197.

ABOUT: Jim Lamb is a 1977 graduate of the University of South Florida with a double major in Mass Communications and Political Science. He worked as a copy desk editor for The Tampa Tribune, The Sarasota Herald-Tribune and the Charlotte Sun-Herald. Now retired, Lamb free-lances for MCA (http://myclassifiedads.net).

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{moving on}

i've been debating for awhile switching over to wordpress.
i thought about transferring all of my content and everything but
when it came down to it, i just wasn't in it. 
turns out,
this blog has been such an awesome place for me and i have documented life and
dream but i'm really just in a new season now and it didn't
make sense to transfer all of to love.

it made more sense to put it to rest.
to close the door on this chapter and start the next one.
so that is what i have done.
this is my last post here.
i will leave the blog here as my own journal and so
you can revisit any posts you want to.
but i have moved on.
if you would like to follow me to my new home,
walk with me on the next phase of my journey,
join me at feathers and hope.

thanks for the past three years here friends.
i hope you stick with me for the next three.



{morning glimpses}


I'm listening to Indie Holiday radio on Pandora,
wearing some stretchy pants with an oversized long sleeve shirt and
brown crocheted shawl and my hair
is adorned with mini braids.

So far my morning has consisted of coffee,
cheddar jalapeno bagels,
reading books to beautiful young children,
tickling and laughing with a handsome three year old,
an emotional talk about The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
after Layla finished the book and watched the movie on Netflix.
I'm just about to settle in to my cozy rocker with
a second cup of coffee,
a well loved book,
{time for a fiction break after the deep reading I've been up to lately}
and a peace that is overwhelming.

The kids are occupied with books, legos, movie making
and homemade play dough. 

The day is starting off beautifully.
Hope yours is too.



{now and then}

I am in the middle of a writing project and part of this writing has taken me down the road of my memories, spending hours swimming through the various parts of who I once was.  I have kind of been comparing and contrasting myself the first 15 years of my life with the me the second 15 years, revisiting favorites and realizing that all things come full circle.  I thought it might be fun to share a bit of my favorites from the thens and nows with you.  One of the most important things to remember is that when I was 15 I had not yet been introduced to Christ, in fact I had no faith whatsoever.  So...


15. favorites were The Cranberries, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Social Distortion, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and Frank Sinatra.

31. favorites are Alela Diane, Mariee Sioux, The Swell Season, Keith Green, The Decemberists, The Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons, Johnny Cash


15. favorites were anything by John Irving, John Saul, Shakespeare.  Girl, Interrupted. The Bell Jar. The Catcher in the Rye. 

31. favorites are David Copperfield, anything by Wendell Berry, anything by Madeline l'Engle, anything by Gene Stratton Porter, One Thousand Gifts and new favorite Thrashing About With God.


15. favorites were Swingers, The Lost Boys, Reality Bites, Empire Records, Fried Green Tomatoes

31. favorites are Once, Noelle, Fried Green Tomatoes {I still adore it}, Pride and Prejudice, Defiance


15. favorites were Jerry Springer {don't judge}, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 90210 reruns {I hated the college years so I watched the high school reruns}

31. favorites are Psych, Gilmore Girls {I will never stop loving this show}, Merlin


15. wanted a boyfriend for more than a week, wanted someone to understand me, pondered life for hours on end, not sure what to believe or think.  Stood with a group of Christian kids in my history class when the teacher asked us to divide into two groups; one that believed a God created the earth and one that believed there was no help from God.  When everyone, who knew I was the furthest thing from a Christian, looked surprised I answered, "I don't care if a God created the world by whatever you guys believe, I just think that for all this to happen, there had to be a God.  Even if He created us through evolution.  It doesn't matter.  I just know this whole world, this universe, couldn't happen without Him."  It would be two years until I became a Christian and understood what creation was, but looking back I am in awe that I had that idea in me.

31. I believe in Christ, that God is love, that love is the only way.  I believe He created us to walk in love and peace, to follow His path and draw near to Him.  I want some land to raise my family, like-minded friends to walk alongside, peace, beauty and slow, intentional days.




I just find the passing of time, the growing of self, so fascinating and so beautiful.  I really believe we are who God made us and those crazy kids we once were need to be welcomed in to who we now are.  Who were you?  Who are you now?  I would love for you to share with me, maybe do your own post and let me know. 


{as a side note, when I was 15 I signed my letters like this:
peace, love and harmony,


{talking about myself}

I am going to introduce myself.
see, I have lost a lot of readers lately due to some unpopular posts,
so I'm just going to do this little re-introduction to say,
this is who I am and if you would like to read my blog and
be my friend you can and
if you don't want to then blessings and so long!
though, I really hope you will stay even if you don't agree with me because
I like those I don't agree with. 
so, here's the quick version...

I love Jesus.
We started hanging out when I was 17.
Before that I had no clue who He was.
I went to Jesus punk rock shows.
I got tattoos.
I married my stalker when I just turned 19 and
had only known him for 4 months.
He had a 6 year old kid.
We started having babies, lots and lots of babies.
My husband became a pastor.
We started church planting.
We quit church planting.
We quit church.
We still love Jesus.
 More than ever.
We have always homeschooled.
Now we unschool.
I write because I suck at talking.
I write because my soul pours out in words.
They pour out in a mixture of poetry and prose and
I can't figure out what I write but it's just what I write.
I don't think I'm all that special.
There is no good reason why you should read my blog.
I think children are equal with adults.
I think they should be treated with the same respect adults are treated with.
I think punishment is counterproductive and wrong.
I strive for peace and gentleness.
I often fall short.
I read because it's a lifeline for me,
needed encouragement, support and thought provoking words.
I ask questions, I challenge things, I don't accept things just because it's the normal thing,
that includes the traditions and beliefs of the American Christian church.
I ponder things, I think what if?, I don't make doctrine out of what should be mystery.
I think we have boxed God in,
we have taken one part of Him and made that our only focus and
He is looking at us saying, "Hey!  You have my big toe, you are studying my big toe,
you think you know every crack, every wrinkle, every hair but you only know like
one tiny part of my toe nail and you think that toe is all there is of me!  There is so much more!
So much more.  I have an entire body and you haven't even begun to look."
My husband cusses like a sailor and I'm okay with it and
I don't think God cares one little bit.
I stopped praying, "Dear God, blah,blah... Amen," for a time and
just started chatting with Him in my words, my tone, my way
throughout my day, whenever I had something to say to Him and
suddenly I knew He heard me.
I think pay it forward Christianity is garbage.
I think the idea of the "now and the not yet" in theology is bogus.
I really like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
I love Psych.
I agree that ignorance is bliss and damn it,
I wish I were still ignorant.
I lost a best friend when I stopped attending church.
That sucks.
I have stopped trying to please everyone and so I am finally happy with who I am,
who God created me to be.
I am really strange and think lots of things that people don't agree with and
I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut.  I think sometimes you just have to speak {or write}
and let it be whatever it is.
God has set me on this path and planned this amazing journey for me.
I have a beautiful life.


{why I stopped reading your blog}

If you are my friend or a blog reader, I read your blog.  I may not comment all that often but
I do read.  I enjoy my friend's words, photos and the encouragement and/or thought provoking material
that they offer.  I also read a few blogs of people I adore for various reasons, though they don't read mine or know me. 

there are a few blogs,
popular blogs,
that I have stopped reading.

I am not naming names but I am going to tell you why I no longer read your {their} blogs.

You make me feel like crap.

Seriously.  I'm a mama of 7 that homeschools.  My husband works a full time manual labor job and God always provides for us but so often we are just scraping by.  We rent our house in a neighborhood with a hoarder across the street who walks around outside in his underwear all day long.  I dream of living in the woods or having a farm, being able to allow my children the freedom to roam around our property, but that's just not going to happen in any foreseeable future. But you have that.  Your photos sing of the beauty I wish I could give to my children. 

You always have the answer, are always able to bring peace and I am desperate to do so and yet I fail way too often.  I read books and blogs for encouragement but I am no longer able to find that on yours.  The only message I hear on your blog is you are not enough.

I can't travel, can't offer much to others, it takes all of my energy and resources just to pour out peace, grace, love and gentleness to my own children and husband.  And I believe, for this time in my life, that is enough. But when I read your blog I walk away feeling like it isn't.  And I don't want to feel like that anymore.

So I no longer read your words or look at your photos.  I know that you encourage many people and I am very glad that they find a kindred soul, a source of peace, in you.  But I don't.  I have my own life to live, my family to care for and my God to draw near to.  I wish the best for you.


edited to add: My issues, being made to feel like crap, are not your fault.  I am under no illusion.  It's me, comparing myself, feeling like I don't add up.  That's my issue, not yours.  I don't read your blog anymore but that's not your fault.  It's the fault of my insecurities. 


{our days}



i wish it were snowing here.
it appears to be snowing everywhere else,
but not here.
never here.

i'm making this cheeseburger soup for dinner tonight and it smells amazing.
out of the 8 of us, i predict that 4 will eat it, 1 will try it and decide not to eat it and
the other three will immediately ask for something else.
that's kind of life in our house.  and it's good.

we watched national treasure today, a family favorite and
now the majority of my kids want to be treasure hunters, they are
searching the outside of my house for clues.

layla wrote up her plan for learning which she entitled,
"basic outline of learning for me for however stinkin' long i want."
it was pretty amazing.  she is completely self-motivated and loves learning
and growing.  she has decided to learn about ww2 and the holocaust and we
have been having some heart wrenching discussions. i asked her if she was
ready to learn about so much evil and pain, and she replied,
"it's a part of this world mama, i have to understand it in order to stand against it."
her wisdom and maturity take my breath away daily.

anyway, just a little peek into my right now.
back to the soup!



{driving away, journeying on}

My last weekend at church I cried,
much different from when I cried the first time I stepped foot through doors I
considered too holy for my dirt caked soul.
That first time was an awakening, a cleansing,
balm for aching child that I was and
He met me there and opened arms and
whispered words of peace and love.
He set my path, my journey
before me, teaching me how to walk and
never, not once, has He left my side.

And then, after years of following suit,
of going through the motions,
and despite my arguing, He told me it was okay to stop.
Despite my desperation and fear,
my lack of knowing where to go and how to move forward,
He told me to relax, be at peace and
trust Him.  He held my hand, whispered words of comfort and
I balked, did I have to be the one?  Did my journey have to
take this route?  Why couldn't I just keep walking alongside
everyone else?  My typical heart's cry,
why am I so different?  I'd been the one to spout gossip,
to "pray" for those who no longer went to church,
to wonder how they could call themselves a Christian when
they were so far away that they no longer engaged in
our self-righteous idea of "fellowship."
I had been the one.
And I could hear God's humor in it all,
chuckling as He gave us the green light,
told us the time for our exodus was upon us,
giving us yet another reason to be talked about and shunned.

That day we went to ready our hearts,
knowing it would be the last time,
at least for a very long while.  We stood in worship and laughed at
appropriate {and inappropriate times} during the sermon,
we made small talk during breaks and after church,
declined an invitation to the pastor's house for lunch.
As we drove away, crashing brown ocean at our backs,
I cried.  Tears flowed,
not for sadness but for freedom, not for loss
but for gain.  Time to journey on,
to see what God had in store for us,
to meet Him in our daily moments, to feel His breath and
hear His voice. 

We drove away,
welcoming His Spirit.
"Time to stop quenching Him," I whispered through tears,
"All that time we spent trying to know Him, churches
teaching us not to quench the Spirit.  But what is more
quenching, more stifling, than a box?  And what is more of a box
than an institution?"

We drove away
towards freedom,
embracing the journey He was leading us on.
It's a remarkably beautiful road and
we are still driving.

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